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Divorce 2018-02-06T09:46:22+00:00

You’ve decided you’re getting a divorce.
Now what?

There are probably a ton of questions running through your mind. Who will stay in the marital home? How will we divide things up? Will we be able to be civil to each other through the process? How will we tell our family? How will we tell our kids?

PANIC!

Breathe.

If you and/or your spouse have decided to divorce, it’s likely going to be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences of your life. The divorce process can turn the most patient, compassionate, and fair-minded person into something resembling a crazed wolverine.

And two crazed wolverines? Yikes.

Are you sure?

If you’re the tiniest bit uncertain that divorce is the answer, or if you’re certain that divorce is the only answer, please take a minute to learn about Discernment Counseling. Especially if only one of you wants the divorce.

You might also consider investigating mediation and/or utilizing a Collaborative Divorce professional, particularly if you’re committed to divorcing as peacefully as possible.

If you’re already traveling the divorce path, however, you don’t need me to tell you how difficult it is. Instead, may I tell you what I wholeheartedly believe?

You’re going to get through this.

Getting through a divorce in one piece requires fortitude. Willingness. Flexibility. Hope. And, perhaps most importantly, a kick-ass, love-you-up, call-you-on-your-shit support team. Folks who can hold space for the roller coaster of emotions, the inevitable setbacks, the unforeseeable plot twists, and the evolution of your new normal without trying to boss you, fix you, or judge you.

Yep, you’ll need support.

If you already have your team in place, good for you. It will be of immeasurable help during and after the divorce process. Since you’re here, however, I’m betting that you’re looking for some support. Please know that I would be honored to be chosen for your team.

Got Kids?

By the way, if there are children involved, I urge you to keep their well-being a top priority. Check out my course “How to Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce” for helpful tips.

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What is the first step?

The first step is to take a moment and breathe.

Invite that hamster spinning in your brain to step off the wheel. You don’t have to decide everything now. Or even today. Use that energy to nourish yourself for the long haul. Self-care is critical to good decisions, good parenting, and good outcomes. Make space amidst the madness to nurture joy, gratitude, mindfulness, and self-compassion. Know that you can take it a day at a time, even a moment at a time, and still get there on time.

Having trouble navigating your divorce?

Let’s map it out

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“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”

Lao Tzu